A cat's eye

Photo by Ralph Mayhew on Unsplash

Superpowers, part 1

By Bruce Webber
Posted 2021-03-28 in humor

Now that my plan to become world dictator is suffering major setbacks, I’ve been thinking about superpowers.

Have you seen a cat chatter? According to the All About Cats website:

Cat chatter is usually communicated when prey is unattainable. The cat will often vocalize in a manner known as chittering. The sound is usually produced while the mouth is opened plus closed rapidly, creating a succession of short sounds punctuated by short pauses of silence. Each cat possesses an individual sound, which differs in pitch and frequency but includes a sequence of clicking-like noises (made from teeth chattering) and/or a string of high-frequency staccato squeaking-like sounds.

My cats chatter when they see a bird outside. It’s an amazing sight. I haven’t been able to capture a good video of it, but I found an excellent example on YouTube:

Look at that focus and intensity! See how quickly the jaw moves!

Many people, when asked what superpower they would choose, say they would fly. Not me. Flying is boring. I am a unique person and I want a unique superpower. I want to chatter like a cat.

Think I’m joking? You better not piss me off. I’ll stare at you fiercely and chatter! I might even hiss.

This superpower may have its drawbacks. I’m likely to chatter at birds involuntarily, the way my cats do. Take me to an aviary and I’ll be helpless to control myself. A friend asked if I knew the fine line between a superpower and a crippling disability.

Every superhero has their kryptonite.